FOR A MOMENT, IGNORE THE CONSEQUENCES AND LAUGH AT THE LEFT.

Some folks think the left are dangerous clowns with dark agendas fueled by hypocrisy, contempt and self-loathing.  I’m not one of those folks.   But, I do think they’re funny, in a dark sort of way.  Now, before I begin, I want to preface this post with the saying, “Truth is stranger than fiction.”  It’s kind of an old cliché but like a lot of clichés, it’s quite often true.  The reason it is true is because fiction has to make sense.  Unlike the truth, fiction has to be believable for the reader to endure it.  And unlike fiction, the truth doesn’t have to be believable, it can be whatever it is, because, well, it’s the truth.

Here are some darkly humorous things about the Left: 

The left say they are the feminist party, except Anthony Wiener, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and Jeffrey Epstein are leftists.  And mind you, these were, (Bill Clinton still is) power brokers of the left.  Who are these guys?  Well, Anthony Wiener had to resign because he was sexting with young woman.  Apparently, he sent twitter pics which were described by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette as an “erection barely covered by a man’s underwear” and by iPolitics as a “man-bulge in boxer briefs”.   Harvey Weinstein was convicted of sexual assault.  He has another pending case in California.  Bill Clinton had an affair with an intern and then lied about it.  Ted Kennedy left his date underwater in Chappaquiddick, to drown.  He didn’t want to be late to the party.  And Jeffrey Epstein catered to a bevy of high-powered players by providing an island get away referred to as Pedo-Island, short for pedophilia.  And yet, not a one of them was called to the mat until the heat or the law got too intense.  Then, and only then, were they, sans Bill Clinton, thrown under the bus.  I’m thinking that maybe the left’s adoration of feminism is a pick-up line, like oh yeah, I totally think woman are equal, in fact I’m a feminist myself because most men are pigs . . . would you like to come back to my place and listen to Helen Reddy?  I’ve got I Am Woman on vinyl.     

As to Bill Clinton not being thrown under the bus, I’m okay with that.  Being married to Hillary is akin to having a rare variety of tinnitus where the buzzing in your ears sounds like finger nails on a chalk board.  Basically, who wouldn’t cheat if you were Bill Clinton?  Cruel, right?  Yeah, but with a jubilant smile on her face, she held her hand high together with Andrew Cuomo when New York passed the Reproductive-Health Act which expanded abortion rights to include immunity for doctors who watch babies that survive abortions die on the table.  I think she deserves some verbal cruelty.  It’s less painful than being aborted.  Here’s some more dark humor, calling an Act that facilitates the death of children the Reproductive-Health Act.   I mean, isn’t it the opposite?  Is it even appropriate to use the word health in an Act that facilitates premature death?  Anyway, it’s okay to be cruel to Hillary, she takes joy in ending life.  But, admittedly, I’ve got some dirt on my hands. GW called the most unpatriotic act in our history the Patriot Act.  It was anything but.  And of course, Obama’s Affordable Care Act was anything but affordable.  So far, that turd has cost me $200,000.00 and counting.[1]

Here’s some more:  The Left was all about counting every vote, even the illegal ones, constantly claiming that the Republican’s were attempting to suppress the vote.  They still are, but what they really are doing is just the opposite.  The in-the-bag pollsters spent an entire election season trying to convince Trump supporters that there was no need to vote because Biden was a shoe-in.  The Left screamed that they wanted honest and fair elections, until they began to sense that they might lose, and then the counting stopped, the windows were covered, the poll watchers were removed, the rules were changed, and the computers started hiccupping, resulting in the most contested election in our history – and it wasn’t the good kind of contest, where the sides were polar opposites although it was that too.  It has become the most contested election because half the nation thinks it’s a sham.  So much for the integrity of the vote, right?  How could this happen?  The Left assured us that we were going to have a fair election.  Fat chance.

And then there’s the “come together” chant of Joe Biden, the “not the red or blue States of America but the United States of America,” chant.  Yeah, right.  James Woods said it best.  He tweeted, “And just like that the rioting and looting has ceased overnight. And now the half of the country that pummeled America like a battered wife is telling her to put on sunglasses, hide her black eye, be a good girl, and “come together as one.” Her answer? “Go fuck yourself.” I’ve already posted in my last post, which apparently got the liberati in my county buzzing that the F.B.I. was investigating me, that we were a nation irreconcilably divided.  Hysterically, the comments to my post accused me of being deplorable, sick, a bad father and husband and over-all just a God-awful human being, which served to confirm my point in real time.  I had to thank the commentors for proving my point.  Let’s be united?   Funny.  It reminds me of a gypsy client of mine who insisted he’d never lie to me, on his kids’ eyes.  Of course, he did lie to me, to everybody actually.  By the way, he called himself a gypsy.  I didn’t.

Here’s another couple of darkly humorous positions of the Left.  Pay your fair share?  Really?  How much is that?  Well, truth be told, it’s zero – if you’re in the club.  But if you’re not, if you’re upper middle class or even middle class, you’re going to get whacked.  We’re the working man’s party.  Definitely not.  The left claims they are for the working man and yet they continue to support agendas that export jobs and suppress employment and wages through unfettered immigration, regulation and increased taxation. 

Let’s be honest, the definition of the truth for the left is basically, It’s true because we say it is.  A better description of the truth of the Left is, the truth is the opposite of what we say.

For example, The Left said Trump colluded with Russia, but they colluded with Russia.  The Left said Trump was guilty of quid pro quo with the Ukraine, but Biden is guilty of quid pro quo with the Ukraine.  The left said Trump was a crook, but Biden is a crook.  The Left said the Right wants to throw grandma off a cliff, but the Left threw Covid infected folks into Grandma’s nursing home.  See, the real truth is exactly the opposite of what they say. 

Do you see the humor in all this?  I mean, is there anything funnier than a pathetic bull-shitting hypocrite?  Yes, is the answer, there’s always Jeffrey Toobin, the New Yorker journalist, who was caught masturbating during a Zoom meeting.  Give him credit though, he didn’t bullshit and he didn’t say anything hypocritical.  He was honest.  He said he didn’t know he was on camera and he thought he’d muted the video.  Well now, if he thought that, it’s definitely fine and dandy, A-okay, nothing more than an honest oversight.  It could happen to anybody.  For the record, always double check to make sure you are off camera and muted before you begin masturbating during a Zoom meeting.  Seriously, if you don’t double-check, you could be the next Jeffrey Toobin.

I do sincerely think there is dark humor in the hypocrisy and double-speak of the Left.  But, within dark humor is dark reality and we are facing a massive dark reality right now.  So far, my side lost the lost the election.  And yes, it’s discouraging that a president was allegedly defeated in a national election, when he provided the leadership to inspire a booming economy that put unemployment in the African American and Hispanic communities at the lowest levels in decades[2], funded Black Colleges, reformed the justice system, created enterprise zones in minority communities, found a way to get Israel into a multi-national peace treaty without requiring the Palestinians to participate, moved the U.S. embassy in Israel to Jerusalem, got other NATO countries to start paying more for their own defense, got rid of NAFTA and replaced it with the USMCA (a boon to U.S. agriculture), got us out of the Paris Accord and the TPP, allowed us to become energy independent, began securing the borders, reduced our foreign military presence, and didn’t get us into any new wars.  Yes, that President was allegedly rejected.  We’ll see, right? 

Was the fix in?  Probably is my answer.  The results were replete with statistical anomalies, bizarre suspensions of vote counting (followed by huge swings in favor of Biden, see Wisconsin and Michigan), computer glitches in election technology that is almost the same technology used in a Venezuelan recall vote that was fixed, the prohibition of observers, rules being changed in mid-stream that will likely result in votes being counted that shouldn’t be counted, i.e. Pennsylvania, and unbelievable voter turn-out in places like Milwaukee.  It is also strange that the delayed results occurred only in the swing-states, the ones where the outcome was uncertain.  So, yes, I believe the results are not accurate.  I do not know if it will be remedied or not.  I also don’t know if it resulted in the wrong guy winning.  I do know that it has destroyed the integrity of our presidential election.

What I also know is that we need to get to the bottom of this mess or we risk solidifying the divide in our nation beyond any hope of mending it.  And what’s wrong with the truth?  Why not audit the results to put the concerns of millions to rest?  Why not, as the democrats say, count every vote, well, except the illegal ones?

But until then, go ahead and laugh at the Lefties.  Give yourself a brief respite from the consequences of the jokes they make us endure over and over again.  Sincerely, laugh at them because they are funny, down right hysterical, if you don’t consider the consequences that is. 

That’s my Reetzality for the day.

Brett Reetz    

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[1] My premium was $800.00 per month before the Affordable Care Act.  It rose to $2,800.00.  I estimate that I have paid on average $2,000.00 a month more since the act passed.  That’s well over $200,000.00.    

[2] Trump did something rather simple to stimulate the economy.  He cut taxes and regulations, thereby unleashing American enterprise and as is usually the case, Americans got to work because they believed the government was on their side, or at least not against them.